In the end, what is important ?

If in the end, nothing you can bring it away with you, not a dime you've earned, not a dime you've spent, not even our-physical-selves, then, what is important ?

We've seen those questions, in philosophy, in psychology, in conversations or just in our wildest dreams, questions stated that if there is only certain amount of time left, so on and so forth, what will we do ? There will be tons of answers featuring similar results -- spending time with our families, finally doing that thing we always want to do ...--, but I'm sure nothing will really change until we're really facing this question ourselves.

Fortunately most of my friends are in no hurry to think about this question, and surprisingly many of my acquaintances have never even encountered some one's else end of life. In a way, no one dies in dignity because of the physical body; but in another way, everyone dies in dignity because no one can touch your soul in a spiritual world -- if there is one.

I've read several books about life after life and/or life in between lives. Reference links for your interests (authors of the books I read):


Scientific background (especially for a hardcore Darwinist, genetics-based biologist I would like to be) has trained us to look away from all these "not-scientifically-proven(as we call it, that's an easy one.)" whatever that we don't want to (and/or can't) deal with.

But, com'on, I'm sure every current living soul would like it to be true, otherwise if we just ... die, then what is this all about ?

I really appreciate my experience, although I wish my family members would never leave me. In the end, what is important ? I think probably only the lives you've truly touched. In the end, who will be really sad over losing you ? Who will really appreciate you ? Who really knows you ? Who really loves you ? I know it sounds corny when we don't need to think about it, but believe me, in the end, life is just like that.

Sometimes I think probably I'll be like -- Cr*p ! None of the after-life thing is true ... [silent]...after I die, but I don't know, we don't know. So let's separate "life" into 3 parts: first part, life in living -- mostly referred to "now" and drifting back and forth in the past and future in our brains (I'm really interested in this "time-traveling" in our minds/brains, hopefully I'll be able to narrate my thoughts about it comprehensibly); second, before death and death itself; and third, life after death (hopefully there is one), and hopefully these 3 parts are connected into a circle by birth/re-birth, so I get to be ... not near-sighted ? No, so I get to be LIVE again !

But whatever it is, I just want to be with people I really love and care. Down to the bottom, life is always the same, no matter where you are(ok, I admit I just want to be in Taiwan ...), who you are, and what you are. Life is just living, everyone is just trying to get by for living. Additionally if we can do something good for the earth, the world and the human being -- at least try to be less harmful and more useful.

Appreciate life, if you don't, I wish there is a mechanism that people who want to commit suicide can give their lives to those who are fighting for it. But don't think too glamerous about it (especially about other people's life), down to the bottom, everyone is the same; down to the end, nothing is really important but those you love and those who love you.


瘦奶奶百日, 我三個月前的email. 100th day after my grandmom's repose, my email to re-post.

不好意思, 一直沒有聯絡. 我的另一個外婆, 瘦奶奶, 已於三月十四日過世. 我在不到三個月的時間內失去了我的兩個外婆, 加上十四年前過世的外公, 我最重要最愛的三個人都已經不在這個世上. 瘦奶奶最後一個月受了很多的苦, 但是她撐著到我農曆生日的那一天. 這次整件事都很奇怪, 我想胖奶奶,瘦奶奶兩個親姊妹一輩子九十年的朝夕相處, 這樣的緣分誰也捨不下誰吧. 我很痛很痛, 人生跟世界對我來說再也不一樣了. 但是大家不要擔心, 我還是會一樣的, 我現在唯一的希望就是能把他們都生回來, 或是有一天我可以跟他們三個人生生世世永永遠在一起, 我只要他們三個, 我們再也不要分開. 希望大家一起幫我想願, 並獻一柱心香.
我會於三月三十日回台北一趟, 待到四月二日. 我已先辦休學, 還沒有定回程機票的時間, 大概會待到四月下旬. 謝謝大家的支持及幫助.

Sorry for not keeping in touch, my "thin" grandma passed away on March, 14th. I've lost both of my grandmas on my mother side in less than 3 months, together with my grandpa on my mother side who passed away 14 years ago, I've lost all three most important, most beloved persons for me in the world. Thin grandma suffered a tremendous deal in her last month, but she waited until my birthday in Chinese Lunar calendar. The whole thing is very strange, many things I can't explain; both of my grandmas on my mother side are blood sisters who have lived together side by side for 90 years, I think the special affinity and connection in between them have made them inseparable. This is extremely painful for me; the whole world and the rest of my life will never be the same for me any more. But please do not worry about me, I am still the same, my all and only hopes are that they will come back as my children in the future, so I can have another chance to protect them, to take care of them; and/or I can join them one day, and be with all three of them forever; they are all I want, and we will never separate any more. I hope you can wish this for me, and pray for all three of them.
I'll be in Taipei from March 30th~April 2nd, and then back to Taichung. I've left my school and I have not booked the return date, most likely I'll be back to the US in late April.
Thank you very much for all your helps and supports.